Charleston, S.C.

It's been a week since 21-year old Dylann Roof entered Emanuel African Methodist Episcopal Church in downtown Charleston, South Carolina and shot and killed 9 people.

-Depayne Middleton-Doctor was a Bible study teacher, she was 49 years old.

-Clementa C. Pinckney was the church pastor and South Carolina state senator, he was 41 years old.

-Sharonda Coleman-Singleton was a speech therapist and track coach at Goos Creek High School, she was 45 years old.

-Cynthia Hurd was a Bible study member and manager for the Charleston County Public Library, she was 54 years old.

-Ethel Lance worked at Emanuel AME for more than 3 decades, she was also a grandmother, she was 70 years old.

-Tywanza Sanders was a Bible stidy member, nephew of Susie Jackson, he was 26 years old.

-Myra Thompson was a Bible study teacher, she was 59 years old.

-Daniel Simmons was a pastor who also served at Greater Zion AME Church, he was 74 years old.

- Susie Jackson was a Bible study teacher and church choir member, she was 87 years old.

I want to remember my brothers and sisters in Christ as family and not just victims that live in a place that I've never set foot in. My heart is beat up over the fact that racism is still rampant but many refuse to believe it. I was in the camp that refused to believe it but my eyes have been opened. Let me take you down memory lane.

I am polynesian. I am a Filipino with brown skin. I did not grow up in America, I grew up in Dubai and the culture is significantly different. There are an array of colored people in Dubai and no one made a stink about it. I was never taught about racism or about civil war. Even my knowledge on Hitler was limited. We never really had history class in Dubai (probably different now since that was 20 years ago) so the only history I knew was what was taught to me after moving to Canada and later moving to Michigan.

I am thankful that my husband is not ignorant to white privilege and to the struggle that our black brothers and sisters go through. I am thankful that he does not hate his white skin or feel guilty about being white but he is able to engage in conversation about the truth of inequality due to skin color here in America. I am thankful that he is not scared to be hated because of his views on racism. I am thankful that he doesn't allow me to walk around ignorant to the disease that is rampant in America.

What shocked me the most after all that has happened within the 5 years of living in America is how hard my heart had been towards racism and that's not in a good way. My husband always brought up incidents of black individuals getting beat up by cops or a white supremacy group harassing black people, and I would think... "not again, I'm tired of this." I had no idea what America's history was. I didn't know about slavery or lynchings or segregation. It wasn't until I took the time to know the history of the country I lived in that my heart took a beating. I realized how deeply ignorant I was and how ill informed I was. I also realized how calloused my heart had been.

I am thankful for the many people that have challenged my views and grown my desire to know about the struggle of black individuals. I am thankful that I am no longer ignorant and I am hoping that I will continue to speak out when I see injustice for remaining silent is being a part of the problem.

My heart is strengthened by this:

"We can be at peace despite major cultural shifts, moral decline, political upheaval, war, natural disasters, disease, and increasing hostility to the gospel (Romans 8:35) because we know that “we are more than conquerors through him who loved us” (Romans 8:37), through him who loved us to the point of his own death on a cross (Philippians 2:8). And we know that all these things “must take place” (Matthew 24:6). All that is happening right now, no matter how concerning and God-belittling and destructive, will not prevent, but in fact will have some role in facilitating, the gospel proclamation throughout the whole world as a testimony to all nations. So despite the appropriate grief we experience over the new calamity, we can abound in hope (Romans 15:13). Because what’s really going on is that Jesus is bringing in all his sheep, and they will listen to his voice. And then the end will come." (J.B.)

Let's be a people who don't get angry when our views are challenged. Let's be a people who yearn to learn and listen.